Wo To Khwab Tha

[saviou]

Assalamu Alaykum Wrwb
doston bohot dino baad ham phir se apne toote phoote kalaam ke sath hazir hain
ye hamne takreeban 8 mahine pehle likhe the lekin tarteeb baki thi aur ab iski tarteeb kiye aur sath me kuch radd o badal bhi isme kuch alfaz chun ne me anaaya ne thora sath diya aur isko achi shakal dene me yane design sabah ka hai

ye hamne ek khwab ke upar ghazal likhi hai jisme banda khwab me apni maut ko kareeb se dekhta hai aur phir jab wo jagta hai to rabb ka shukar aada karta hai aur aisi afaat na aye kabhi dua karta hai

umeed hai apko pasand aayegi
jazakallah khair

​

​

Aaj Eik Sawaal Sa Uttha Hai Mere Mann Me ​

Ye Kashmkash Si Kya Ho Rahi Hai Jeewan Me​

​

Soch Soch Kar Main Ho Rahaa Hun Hairaan​

Kya Ye Sach Hai Main Nahi Hun Is Jahaan Me​

​

Barass Rahaa Hai Baadalon Se Paani Lekin​

Kyun Shola Sa Phir Uttha Hai Tan Mann Me​

​

Kyun Bhaag Rahaa Hun Mainn Khud Se Door​

Ye Ajeeb Si Kaifiat Kaisi,Kyun Hun Uljhan Me​

​

Ye Zorr Zorr Sse Aati Aawazen Harr Taraff​

Lag Raha Hai Jaise Main Hun Shamshan Me​

​

Phir Jab Aankh Khuli To Khila Chehra Meraa​

Wo To Khwaab Tha Haqiqat Na Thi Anjaan UsMe​

​

Milaa Tab Qalb Ko Sukoon, Hai Zindagii Baki​

Warna Kya Leke Jata, Ye Khote Sikke Daman Me ​

​

Rabb Ke Aage Tah e Dil Se Dua'go Hai Nasir ​

Naa Aaye Phir Kabhii Aisi Aafat Jeewan Me​

​

​

​

aur ye jo pehle likhe the changes se pehle​

​

​

Aaj Ek Sawal Sa Utha Hai Mere Mann Me ​

Ye Kashmkash Si Kya Ho Rahi Hai Jeewan Me​

​

Soch Soch Kar Main Ho Raha Hun Hairan​

Kya Ye Sach Hai Ya Main Nahi Hun Hosh Me​

​

Barass Rahaa Hai Baadalon Se Paani Lekin​

Kyun Shola Sa Phir Utha Hai Tan Man Me​

​

Kyun Bhaag Rahaa Hun Mian Khud se Door​

Ye Ajeeb Si Kaifiat Kesi,Kyun Hun Uljhan Me​

​

Ye Zorr Zorr Sse Aati Aawazen harr taraf​

Lag Rahaa Hai Jaise Main Hun Shamshan Me​

​

Phir Jab Ankh Khuli To Khila Chehra Mera​

Wo To Khwaab Tha Na Thi koi Haqeeqat Usme​

​

Mila Tab Qalb Ko Sukoon, Hai Zindagi Baki​

Warna Kya Leke Jata Darbar e Khuda Wand Me​

​

Rabb K Aage Tah e Dil Se Dua'go hai Nasir ​

Na Aye Phir Kabhi Aisi Aafat Jeewan Me​

​

​

​

​

 

[Qawareer]

wssalm u alaikum
boht arse baad apki ko shairy parhne ko mili..
boht umdah..
boht ache andaz me ap ne ek khawb ko shairy ka sahara lete huve bayan kia hai..mashAllah..

 

[Ghazal_Ka_Chiragh]

Bohot khoob bhai jan kya khoob andaz se aapne khwaab ko
ghazal mein bayaan kiya maza aa gaya bohot hi umdaah

Rehmat e khushi ko har koi karna chahe apna
phir kyun rehmat e ghum ko har koi karna chahe sapna

***S_ChiragH***
​

 

[Habeel]

bohat khub bhai kya bat hai

sada khus raho

 

[Lonely]

Kafi achi hai...par agar radeef qafiye ka dhyan rakha jata to aur achi ho sakti thi

 

[Entertainer]

Nicely written . . . .

 

[Atif-adi]

bht khoob bro

 

[Dreamy Boy]

BOHAT umda likha hai bro

 

[MSC]

walaikum salam
Mashallah Bhtttt umda poetry hai....
nice wording n well designed
Keep sharing

 

[Prince-Farry]

walakumsalam wrwb..
bohot hi acha likha hai apne ....aise hi likhte rahein....

 

[Toobi]

walikum asalam,
hmm mashaAllah kia bat hay bro apki,sacche apki shayre bht ache hote hay....

 

[Zee Leo]

Walaikum Assalam achi koshish hai Janab keep it up

 

[Hans_Mukh]

Nice sharing

 

[~Bahaar~]

Walikum salam janab....
Bahut acche khayalath ko apne paiwande ghazal kiya hai..
Urdu ,hindi ka khubsurat sangam...Umda..
Agar tanqeedi nigah se dekha jaye to kuch ghaltiyan hain
Mizaj e nazuk p giraan na guzre to Tashee karun?

 

[saviou]

Walikum salam janab....
Bahut acche khayalath ko apne paiwande ghazal kiya hai..
Urdu ,hindi ka khubsurat sangam...Umda..
Agar tanqeedi nigah se dekha jaye to kuch ghaltiyan hain
Mizaj e nazuk p giraan na guzre to Tashee karun?

shukran mohtarma
zaroor hame to iska hi intezar tha
isse hame galti ko sudharne ka mauqa milega
zaroor tashee karen dagh dehelwi saheba

 

[Hoorain]

bohat hi zabardast MASHAALLAH

 

[~Bahaar~]

shukran mohtarma
zaroor hame to iska hi intezar tha
isse hame galti ko sudharne ka mauqa milega
zaroor tashee karen dagh dehelwi saheba

Maaf kijiyega magar hum kahne p majbur hain jo jo isme khamiyan ya tishnagi hume mahsus hui..

Mann,Jeewan,Jahaan,Anjaan,Shamshan,Uljhan,Daman jaise alfaz humwazan nahi hain..
Apne srf akhiri harf ''NOON'' Ka khayal rakha,lafzon ki eksaniyat aur wazan ko madd e nazar nahi rakha gaya

YE ZORR ZORR SI ATI AWAZEN HAR TARAF
AISE LAGRAHA JAISE MEI HUN SHAMSHAN ME
Yahan par pata nhi kyun apne Zor o shor ko Shamshan se jora hai jabkay Shamshan ka dusra naam hi sukoot,khamoshi

Ye lafz Shamshan Ya Qabrastan k maanay hi khamoshi k hain..khair ye apka takhayul..

PHIR JAB ANKH KHULI TO KHILA CHEHRA MERA
WO TOH EK KHWAB THA HAQIQAT NA THI ANJAAN USME

Ye sher apki sari ghazal ki akkasi karta hai aur isme apne garbar kardi janab..
ANJAN USME se koi bamanay sher nahi ban raha..
Is Sher ko aise hona chahiye tha..


PHIR JAB ANKH KHULI TO KHILA CHEHRA MERA
WO TOH EK KHWAB THA HAQIQAT NA THI PINHAAN USME

Mazerath k sath......Im Extremely sorry

 

[saviou]

bohot shukriya mohtarma isme mazirath kaisi
agar ap khamian nahi batayenge to ham sudharenge kaise

waise ye pinhaan kya hai ?

aur shamshan se murad shamshan jaana hi nahi balke wahan jane se pehle ird gird ka jo mahol hota hai usme aksar zorron ki awazen sunayi deti hain to wo hamne dhyan me rakha tha

waise har insan apni soch se sochta hai
zaroori nahi jaise hamne soch kar likha ho waise aap bhi samjhe

 

[~Bahaar~]

Ji Ji isiliye to kaha k apka takhayul...

Pinhaan k manay hain paiwast hona ,miljana

apke wo khyalath khwab thy haqeeqat me pinhaan nhi thy...
Umeed k apko humari tanqeed buri anhi lagi hogi..
Waise likhte rahen..apne bahut din baa qalam uthaya hai...
Umda likhte hain..

 

[saviou]

Ji Ji isiliye to kaha k apka takhayul...

Pinhaan k manay hain paiwast hona ,miljana

apke wo khyalath khwab thy haqeeqat me pinhaan nhi thy...
Umeed k apko humari tanqeed buri anhi lagi hogi..
Waise likhte rahen..apne bahut din baa qalam uthaya hai...
Umda likhte hain..

jee bilkul bhi buri nahi lagi
aur ap hain bhi hamare liye dagh dehelwi
aur jaise ke upar hamne kaha hai ye 8 mahine pehle likhe the bas thora rad o badal karke post kiye hain

aur inshaAllah zaroor likhte rahenge thokar nahi lagegi to sambhlenge kaise
aur hamara maqsad hota hai bas apne khayal ko bayan karna aur koshish hoti hai ke isko shayari ki shakal desaken