Separate Or Joint Family System?

[K1ran]

hamare hisaab se to ye joint family nahi huyi jahan maa baap biwi bache hon wo ek alag family hi hoti joint family me dusre bhaion ki families bhi aajati hain ya phir chacha taya ye sab ki families bhi

Joint family bolay tu poray khandan ka aik sath rehna, aik ghar main nehn lakin zindagi ki unch neech main sath rehna sath chlna ya aj kal nehn hota...ap maa bao behan bhai ka aik sath rehnay ko aik ghar khty ho lakin uss aik ghar main kitny aur ghar ban jaty hain ya sab aik family aik khandan hii tu ha aur chacha taya ya khala wagera ya extended family ha.. aur agar ya sab mil ka rahin matlab aik dosary ka sath dain ,kushi gum sab kuch bant lain tu isay joint family main rehna khty hain, jahan app sab ki sunatay bhe ho sunatay bhe ho aur manty bhe ho... i hope it might clear my point brother or sister??

 

[Sabah]

I must say You will get each and every thing that you ever wish for,
being what you want
INSHAALLAH
bcoz then you will see how tough is that decision to elimate your son with his own family from your house. whatever the reasons are.[DOUBLEPOST=1358071265][/DOUBLEPOST]Joint Family is a blessing
may be thier are problems exists as well.
It looks like our country PAKISTAN where one province thinks its gonna be unfair with it in this federation.
so what should be the right decision ? separation or trying to resolve the issues.?

Ohh okay got your point now!
well there are different families with different situations, so neither you can judge my choices nor do I can yours, because I've gone through this joint family system I know everything very well...
being as a mother it's really hard to see your kids are living far away separately, but what if your kids are near to you and are together but has no respect and sympathy towards you and between themselves either, it hurts more than that, leave that topic just tell me what if your kids are not raising in a normative manners amongst your joint family? what if the welfare of your children are being abandoned in a joint family system? will you still ignore all these? Iam not against the joint family as a whole, some people can manage though and some can not.
By my opinion 80% joint families are just tolerating eachother, hence that is not a joint family but a broken family I must say....
A mother can live with any of his son which she wishes, she can either spend quality of time with each of her son after they are married, there is no issue with our parents because parents are included in both joint and individual family so I've never omitted a mother in-law or father in-law from the family but Iam talking about her sons and their wives.
so living with your brother or brother in-law is not an obligation...
if the family is happy and thinks they can be much good together rather than seperation then it's really good but as I said before it's just an assumption.

 

[HuriYa]

Let me be a wife first, then a mother and then a mother in-law

hahahaha...! itna Lamba waittt.......

 

[Prince-Farry]

wa'alaikumusalaam wrwb..
to me..mai JOINT FAMILY prefer karoonga
..since I am a guy...to mera farz hai apne parents ko saath rakhna...jab bhai bhi hon to pher i will prefer to stay with bhai and bhabhis...coz bhaiyo ka bhi farz hai apne parents ko rakhna....
yeh mera irada hai..aage chal kar khandan bara hoga to pher usi lihaz se sochegein..filhal itni planning kafi hai...we don't know how long we will live still...[DOUBLEPOST=1358112151][/DOUBLEPOST]

agar joint family se muraad parents, wife/wifes childrens aur sath me brothers and their wife ye sab hain to phir ye islam ke lihaaz se jayez nahi

agar joint family se muraad walidain biwi/biwian aur bache hain to phir ye sahi hai

wallahu alam

mujhe apki baat samjh nahi ae...
agar bhai aur bhabhiyan saath rahein to yeh jayez nahi hai ..?
koi reference dein sakte hein?

 

[AshirFrhan]

Ohh okay got your point now!
well there are different families with different situations, so neither you can judge my choices nor do I can yours, because I've gone through this joint family system I know everything very well...
being as a mother it's really hard to see your kids are living far away separately, but what if your kids are near to you and are together but has no respect and sympathy towards you and between themselves either, it hurts more than that, leave that topic just tell me what if your kids are not raising in a normative manners amongst your joint family? what if the welfare of your children are being abandoned in a joint family system? will you still ignore all these? Iam not against the joint family as a whole, some people can manage though and some can not.
By my opinion 80% joint families are just tolerating eachother, hence that is not a joint family but a broken family I must say....
A mother can live with any of his son which she wishes, she can either spend quality of time with each of her son after they are married, there is no issue with our parents because parents are included in both joint and individual family so I've never omitted a mother in-law or father in-law from the family but Iam talking about her sons and their wives.
so living with your brother or brother in-law is not an obligation...
if the family is happy and thinks they can be much good together rather than seperation then it's really good but as I said before it's just an assumption.

Im Agreed With What You Said. There r certain problems exists. But its the failure of the people not the system who r not been able to give respect to each others. Moreover its the characteristic of the heads of family to create a peaceful environment for each member and if they r weak for any reason. Problems arise and STAR PLUS type funny things gonna be happend more frequently.
The problems that you highlighted are the story of many homes of this country because our personel domestic lives are the screen of our country situation.
And Yes Wish You All The best for what you choose for your life.
ALLAH PAK Hamarey haal per reham farmaen or Hamari infiradi or ijtimai zindagion mey apni rehmaten shamil e haal farmaen. Ameen[DOUBLEPOST=1358116320][/DOUBLEPOST]

hahahaha...! itna Lamba waittt.......

Ok Ap Wait Nahi Karna API
DO AS DIRECT
[DOUBLEPOST=1358116708][/DOUBLEPOST]

hahahaha...! itna Lamba waittt.......

Because Your Style Is All To Yourself

 

[Dawn]

wa'alaikumusalaam wrwb..
to me..mai JOINT FAMILY prefer karoonga
..since I am a guy...to mera farz hai apne parents ko saath rakhna...jab bhai bhi hon to pher i will prefer to stay with bhai and bhabhis...coz bhaiyo ka bhi farz hai apne parents ko rakhna....
yeh mera irada hai..aage chal kar khandan bara hoga to pher usi lihaz se sochegein..filhal itni planning kafi hai...we don't know how long we will live still...[DOUBLEPOST=1358112151][/DOUBLEPOST]
mujhe apki baat samjh nahi ae...
agar bhai aur bhabhiyan saath rahein to yeh jayez nahi hai ..?
koi reference dein sakte hein?

Assalam alaikum dosto

bahot accha topic hai aur aajka aham masla bhi jise aksar log samjhte nahi hai.laikin islam is baare me bhi hamari rahnumaayi kar chuka hai.Allah taala quran e majeed surat alnoor-aayath no.31 me irshaad farmaata hai.

​

مسلمان عورتوں سے کہو کہ وه بھی اپنی نگاہیں نیچی رکھیں اور اپنی عصمت میں فرق نہ آنے دیں اور اپنی زینت کو ﻇاہر نہ کریں، سوائے اس کے جو ﻇاہر ہے اور اپنے گریبانوں پر اپنی اوڑھنیاں ڈالے رہیں، اور اپنی آرائش کو کسی کے سامنے ﻇاہر نہ کریں، سوائے اپنے خاوندوں کے یا اپنے والد کے یا اپنے خسر کے یا اپنے لڑکوں کے یا اپنے خاوند کے لڑکوں کے یا اپنے بھائیوں کے یا اپنے بھتیجوں کے یا اپنے بھانجوں کے یا اپنے میل جول کی عورتوں کے یا غلاموں کے یا ایسے نوکر چاکر مردوں کے جو شہوت والے نہ ہوں یا ایسے بچوں کے جو عورتوں کے پردے کی باتوں سے مطلع نہیں۔ اور اس طرح زور زور سے پاؤں مار کر نہ چلیں کہ ان کی پوشیده زینت معلوم ہوجائے، اے مسلمانو! تم سب کے سب اللہ کی جناب میں توبہ کرو تاکہ تم نجات پاؤ (31)​

O Prophet, enjoin the Believing women to restrain their gaze and guard their private parts. and not to display their adornment except that which is displayed of itself, and to draw their veils over their bosoms and not to display their adornment except before their husbands, their fathers, the fathers of their husbands, their sons and the sons of their husbands (from other wives), their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their female associates and those in their possession and male attendants incapable of sex desire and those boys who have not yet attained knowledge of sex matters concerning women; also forbid them to stamp their feet on the ground lest their hidden ornaments should be displayed. O Believers, turn all together towards Allah: it is expected that you will attain true success.​

is aayath se ye baat hame maloom hoti hai k ek aurat ko kin kin logon se parda karna chahiye aur kis se nahi.laikin jo tasavvur joint family ka hamare paas hai.wo ye k hamari ek mushtarka family hoti hai jisme bhayi,bhabian,dewar etc sabhi log ek saath hi rahte hain.jo sarasar ghalat hai.isme hum apni biwiaon ko apne dewar se parda nahi karwa sakte.

aur iske ilawa bhi bahot se problems create hote hain joint family se jinme se chund ek ko main yahan mention kardeta hon.

01 . joint family me hum apni biwioan k sahih tarha se haqooq nahi ada karsakte.unhe apni pasand ka libas pahnaana unke khaane peene ka sahih qayal rakhna aur isi tarha unki aazaadi bhi chin jaati hai.aur isi tarha se dosri bahot si aur baatein bhi hain jo yaha har shaqs samajh sakta hai.

02 . joint family se na ittefaqian bhi paida hoti hain.kyunke ksi ki kuch income hoti hai to ksi ki kuch kyunke hum ek chatt k neeche hi rahte hain isliye hamara khaana peena bhi ek hi hota hai.aur kayi baar ye dekha jaata hai k log shikayetein karte hain k dekho main itna kama kar apni family keliye karta hon laikin dosre kuch nahi karte etc.

03 . aur isi tarha ghar me aurton me bhi masle chalte hi rahte hain k maine ye kaam kia unho ne kuch nahi kia.isi tarha bacchon k larayi jhagron se bhi badon me ikhtelafaat paida hojaate hain.

laikin yahan saudi arabia me joint family k ek accha tasavvur hai wo ye k koi bhi ek larka apne maa baap ko saath me rakhleta hai.aur har tarha se unki qidmat karta hai.kyunke maine khud yahan dekha hai k yahan k log apne parents ka bahot hi ziada qayal rakhte hain.unhe har cheez ki sahulat faraham karte hain.subhanAllah bahot hi accha lagta hai.

ye thi chund baatein jont family par.umeed k aap muttafiq honge meri is quran ki daleel se

​

 

[saviou]

Assalamu Alaykum Wrwb

shayad aap loog hamari baat ko samjhe nahi ya phir usko negetive way me liye hain

shadi ke baad alag rehne se muraad ye nahi ke apne maa baap ko chordo ya bhai bahen se kahin door jaa ke raho nahi aap aazu baazu bhi reh sakte hain ya ek hi ghar me apni family ke liye alag intezam kar sakte hain jisme biwi ko har tarah ki sharyee azaadi ho dusre mardon ka khalt malt na ho hatta ke dewar kyun ke dewar to bhabi ke liye maut hai aur ham musalman hain to hame hamare pyare Habeeb alayhi salam ke har farmaan ko maanna chahiye yehi ek momin ka shewa hai

Islam ke kuch qawaneen dekhne me hame sahi na lagte ho lekin isme hamare liye hi behtari aur bhalai hoti hai ye hamari samajh ki galti hai ke hame Allah ki hikmat samajh nahi aati

Afsos ke sath kehna parhta hai ke log gharon me khawind aur biwi ke rishtedar mardon ke mutalliq tasahil aur kotahi se kaam lete hain, halanke shariat mutahhara ne to in ke mutalliq dusron se zyada sakhti ki hai, kyun ke gharon me inka aapas me meil jhol aur ikhtelat hota hai, aur ghar wale in par bharosa karte hain

عقبہ بن عامر رضى اللہ تعالى عنہ بيان كرتے ہيں كہ رسول كريم صلى اللہ عليہ وسلم نے فرمايا:​

" تم عورتوں كے پاس جانے سے اجتناب كيا كرو "​

تو ايك انصارى شخص نے عرض كيا:​

اے اللہ تعالى كے رسول صلى اللہ عليہ وسلم ذرا خاوند كے رشتہ دار مرد ( ديور ) كے متعلق تو بتائيں ؟​

تو رسول كريم صلى اللہ عليہ وسلم نے فرمايا:​

" ديور تو موت ہے "​

صحيح بخارى حديث نمبر ( 4934 ) صحيح مسلم حديث نمبر ( 2172 ).​

الحمو: خاوند كے قريبى رشتہ دار مرد كو كہا جاتا ہے.​

aap dekh sakte hain ke Allah ke Rasool sallellahu alayhi wasallam ne khawind ke rishtedar mard ko is hukm se isteshna karwana chaha, to iske mutalliq bohot zyada tashdeed aur sakhti aayi, kyun ke khawind ke bhai yane dewar wagairah ke gharon me dakhil hona mayoob nahi samjha jaata

lekin dewar agar chota ho bulughat ki umar ko nahi pahuncha to is se koi khatra nahi wagarna is se parda karwana wajib hai

agar aap ek ghar me rehte huye parde ka intezaam kar sakte hain aur baki sharyee pabandion ka bhi lihaaz kar sakte hain to phir koi harj nahi lekin aaj ke daur me ye bohot mushkil hai aur khud ham is dushwari se guzar rahe hain

Allah se dua hai ke hame deen ko samajhne aur us par amal karne ki taufeeq aata farmaye Aameen

@K1ran @Prince_Farry

 

[Atif-adi]

well it actualy depends on the situation.
i wont give my vote to family or joint.
cuz both have there own pros n cons.

abhi tak meri famiy me to joint system hi chaling.
who knows bad me change hojae. cuz gher me ager koi rule breaker hai to wo me hi hun lols
i like changes.

n abhi me azad hun means unmarried so there is no sign of changes in rules n regulations of my family

 

[Hoorain]

well it actualy depends on the situation.
i wont give my vote to family or joint.
cuz both have there own pros n cons.

abhi tak meri famiy me to joint system hi chaling.
who knows bad me change hojae. cuz gher me ager koi rule breaker hai to wo me hi hun lols
i like changes.

n abhi me azad hun means unmarried so there is no sign of changes in rules n regulations of my family

aap k iradey ache nae lagging

 

[Atif-adi]

aap k iradey ache nae lagging

lols irade to nek hi hain
but i never walk with closed eyes
me changes chahta hun but not that much, kyu k standards bhi hona chaiye
or changes ache k lie ho to is me koi bura to nai
we should try swiming in opposite directions.
cuz its not a big deal to go with flow

 

[Hoorain]

lols irade to nek hi hain
but i never walk with closed eyes
me changes chahta hun but not that much, kyu k standards bhi hona chaiye
or changes ache k lie ho to is me koi bura to nai
we should try swiming in opposite directions.
cuz its not a big deal to go with flow

ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! kia kehne iradey waqe hi naik nae lagging

 

[Atif-adi]

ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! kia kehne iradey waqe hi naik nae lagging

lols

yep inqilab ka jhanda hum hi uthate hain family me

 

[Hoorain]

lols

yep inqilab ka jhanda hum hi uthate hain family me

hahaha ahaaan aur ussi jhandey ki stick se maar b khaate hain

 

[Atif-adi]

hahaha ahaaan aur ussi jhandey ki stick se maar b khaate hain

well u win some u lose some

 

[Hoorain]

well u win some u lose some

hahaha truee
BTW how many times u acted upon this phrase?

 

[Atif-adi]

hahaha truee
BTW how many times u acted upon this phrase?

countless times

 

[Hoorain]

countless times

hahaha ohh phir to koi masla hi nhi u must be an expert now
keep it up

 

[Atif-adi]

hahaha ohh phir to koi masla hi nhi u must be an expert now
keep it up

han apna bag gher k bahar bht dafa dekha hai me ne

 

[Hoorain]

han apna bag gher k bahar bht dafa dekha hai me ne

hahahahah sach may ya khawab may ?

 

[Atif-adi]

hahahahah sach may ya khawab may ?

suchi me, ek yehi to dhamki milti thi "jab ek din bahar rehna parega to akal thikane ajaegi"

afsos k akal thikane na asaki. dosto ne aane hi nai di akal thikane apne gher le jate they n phir to pori raat tafreeh n games