Thought 1 #
>>
>>
>>
>> When we are born, our mother's get the compliments and
>>
>>
>> the flowers. When we are married, our brides get the
>>
>>
>> presents and the publicity. When we die, our widows
>>
>>
>> get the life insurance.
>>
>>
>> What do women want to be liberated from?
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>
>> Thought 2
>>
>>
>> The average man's life consists of: Twenty years of
>>
>>
>> having his mother ask him where he is going, Forty
>>
>>
>> years of having his wife ask the same question; and at
>>
>>
>> the end, the mourners wondering too.
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>
>> Thought 3 #
>>
>>
>> A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice
>>
>>
>> from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will
>>
>>
>> fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped
>>
>>
>> and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man
>>
>>
>> was astonished.
>>
>>
>> He went on, and after a while he was going to cross
>>
>>
>> the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand
>>
>>
>> still! If you take one more step a car will run over
>>
>>
>> you, and you will die." The man did as he was
>>
>>
>> instructed, just as a car came careening around the
>>
>>
>> corner, barely missing him.
>>
>>
>> The man asked. "Who are you?" I am your guardian
>>
>>
>> angel," the voice answered. "Oh, yeah?" the man asked
>>
>>
>> "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
>>
>>
>> -----------------------------
>>
>>
>> ---------------------------
>>
>>
>> This is the best!!!
>>
>>
>> Thought 4 #
>>
>>
>> Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the
>>
>>
>> radiant bride as her father escorted her down the
>>
>>
>> aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the
>>
>>
>> altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her
>>
>>
>> father and placed some thing in his hand.
>>
>>
>> Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to
>>
>>
>> the father by the bride. The father could feel the
>>
>>
>> suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to
>>
>>
>> divulge the secret and say something. So he announced
>>
>>
>> "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my
>>
>>
>> life."
>>
>>
>> Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave
>>
>>
>> him and continued, "My daughter finally, returned my
>>
>>
>> credit card to me." The whole audience including
>>
>>
>> priest started laughing..........but not the poor groom..............
>>
>>
>>
>> When we are born, our mother's get the compliments and
>>
>>
>> the flowers. When we are married, our brides get the
>>
>>
>> presents and the publicity. When we die, our widows
>>
>>
>> get the life insurance.
>>
>>
>> What do women want to be liberated from?
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>
>> Thought 2
>>
>>
>> The average man's life consists of: Twenty years of
>>
>>
>> having his mother ask him where he is going, Forty
>>
>>
>> years of having his wife ask the same question; and at
>>
>>
>> the end, the mourners wondering too.
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>
>> Thought 3 #
>>
>>
>> A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice
>>
>>
>> from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will
>>
>>
>> fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped
>>
>>
>> and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man
>>
>>
>> was astonished.
>>
>>
>> He went on, and after a while he was going to cross
>>
>>
>> the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand
>>
>>
>> still! If you take one more step a car will run over
>>
>>
>> you, and you will die." The man did as he was
>>
>>
>> instructed, just as a car came careening around the
>>
>>
>> corner, barely missing him.
>>
>>
>> The man asked. "Who are you?" I am your guardian
>>
>>
>> angel," the voice answered. "Oh, yeah?" the man asked
>>
>>
>> "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
>>
>>
>> -----------------------------
>>
>>
>> ---------------------------
>>
>>
>> This is the best!!!
>>
>>
>> Thought 4 #
>>
>>
>> Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the
>>
>>
>> radiant bride as her father escorted her down the
>>
>>
>> aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the
>>
>>
>> altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her
>>
>>
>> father and placed some thing in his hand.
>>
>>
>> Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to
>>
>>
>> the father by the bride. The father could feel the
>>
>>
>> suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to
>>
>>
>> divulge the secret and say something. So he announced
>>
>>
>> "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my
>>
>>
>> life."
>>
>>
>> Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave
>>
>>
>> him and continued, "My daughter finally, returned my
>>
>>
>> credit card to me." The whole audience including
>>
>>
>> priest started laughing..........but not the poor groom..............
